Experiencing
worry, unease, or nervousness, typically about an imminent event or something
with an uncertain outcome…wanting something very much, typically with a feeling
of unease
While
in Iowa City at the Winter Junior Nationals we had an “ah-ha” moment. The air
in the natatorium was decent but not perfect. Several swimmers had some
difficulties breathing, especially as the days went by. Many had little or no irritation.
It was difficult to say exactly who was affected and who wasn’t. For sure some
were not, or figured out how to deal with the air. Several meet records were
broken and even 2 or 3 pool records were set. It was a very fast meet, for many
events.
And
yet there was this “static” in the background about the air. One of our
swimmers came up before an event on the last day with a rather panicked look
saying, “I don’t think I can swim.” The statement was made because the swimmer
had been around several other competitors who were coughing and complaining
about how hard it is to breathe. Long story short, our swimmer swam 2 events
that day and managed to deal with it. But it wasn’t easy by any means. Fears
and doubts needed to be overcome and “group think” had to be put aside.
In
talking about this with two other coaches later that session one of them said
he worked and taught in the field of mental health. He said today’s youngsters
have much higher levels of anxiety and even depression than was evident in a
generation or two gone by. He said it was because today kids are not taught how
to figure out rather common causes of “fears”. This can even lead to more
general levels of depression. His take was that since parents today don’t let
their kids learn how to deal with normal stresses they – the kids – learn how
to become anxious thus creating a situation where the parent will intervene to
make everything ok.
We
thought about this a while and concluded that our parents never, ever, said all
they wanted was for us to be happy. In fact we couldn’t ever remember hearing
that phrase. Yet today we can easily recall parents saying, “All I want is for
her to be happy”. Or “I just want him to be ok”.
When
stressors make life difficult, kids need to figure out how to deal with the
bumps in the road and make adjustments, without simply saying “I’m having a
panic attack” so as to call in the reinforcements.
In
the case in Iowa, there were several options everyday…an athlete’s lounge with
excellent air; a leisure pool adjacent to the main pool with air noticeably
better, an open gym above the main pool with sight lines to the pool and
scoreboard so you could see exactly which heat was in the water. There were
options. Many figured that out and chose those options and while yes, being
bothered by the air, they weren’t thrown into a state of “paralysis” by it.
We
– parents and coaches – need to let the kids know we are standing by as a
safety net. And yet, we cannot, nor should we, solve all of life’s challenges
for them.
