To all parents—We are 6 weeks into our practices and thought I would give you all an update of my perceptions. (fun to hear from a perspective other than your sons or daughters). Actually I think the connection I feel to this group is strong, and so the perspective will probably be similar. To me, that is very important. At the age of 60, I could be viewed as “old Coach” but would much rather try to be in tune with how the athletes feel about certain things……Thought #1---the swimmers love our new assistant coach Nick, and I do too. He is working very hard as our recruiting coordinator, and as a young coach who can answer tough questions in a mature way. He creates cutting edge practices focusing on walls, underwater work, speed, all the while helping athletes to relate to why they are doing what they are doing. Simply, Nick’s philosophy is very practical—we have to get to race speed in practice in order to be able to race in meets. It has been a joy for me to work with Nick and I see it every day. WOW!Thought #2—the freshmen always catch the colds before the other students. Part of this is getting accustomed to dorm life, eating cafeteria food where everyone touches all of the utensils as much of it is self -serve, and living in the same room as someone who they did not know until two months ago. Many are getting sick and the most important practice for them each day is finding a way to get healthy.Thought #3—the athletes in our program who do not party heavily are more connected to the coaches than those who do. Gradually, we are seeing that our top swimmers are not the big partiers….most likely because they cannot accomplish what they do at such a high level in the classroom and the pool. Years ago the message to the team was there are five things you can do here that encompass your journey in college, but you can only do 4 of the five and be successful:
1) Your academia
2) Your spirit and spiritual life (ranges from religious beliefs to deep soul searching)
3) Your passion for swimming
4) Your friendships and social settings
5) Excessive Partying
BUT—if you pick #5 as one of your top 4, then you will not swim very well. You can still get good grades, you can still have your spiritual life, but your social life becomes a partying life…….and your SWIMMING is the first thing that suffers. Seriously, I know I just sound like a typical coach trying to be sure that the sport is protected, but this is exactly what I have seen during the past 30 years here. When I ask the alums who come back, all they say is YUP!3A—all of the above will impact your sleep, your health and wellness. At JHU, the academics never go away…..so you can be great in the classroom, and great in the pool, and comfortable with your spiritual choice and what that means to you. The key to all of the above is which path of social life they choose.…..AND SO, their health and wellness is totally impacted by picking either #4 or #5.Thought #4—some of the athletes demand more than 1/53 rd (there are 53 team members) of the time we have for each one of them and may not begin to even look at it that way. In other words, the coaches must give our all of our energy to 53 people. If we have someone who is particularly needy, they could take up 10-15/53 of our time and that leaves less for the others. So this is an area where I believe being a great teammate is knowing that their teammates need the time from the coach as well. My philosophy has always been to be there for someone during their toughest days, but ultimately the goal is for each of the swimmers to communicate and seek help in a way so that we prevent many of the toughest days. The way to best do this is to create an environment where the athletes get to understand the differences between problems and inconveniencesThought 4a—I have beaten cancer. ( I would rather look at it that way than as a cancer survivor). My attitude is at an entirely different wavelength than many of the swimmers. When they complain that they have a tough test or have had a tough day, I try to understand….but I end up talking a lot to the team about the difference between a problem and an inconvenience.Thought 5—the “dump” phone call. It is about that time where the newness of the year or the newness of our program wears off. Swimmers are tired at this time of the season and so are parents . But realize what happens during this time---The kids will call home with what we call the “ dump” phone call. That is the call that “this isn’t going well or the coach did this or the asst coach did that. We all did it too when we were younger. A big difference today is that back then my dad just said well son, “it is up to you to go in and speak your mind to someone who can do something about it”. See, the dump phone call is not new. What happens is that the team members will stop listening to complaints, because that is what this generation does….they get caught up in it, and then all of a sudden stop listening…. so the person has no one to listen other than to their parents. (Now, Back to the 1/53 of time, I want you to know that Nick and I care about every one of these kids but can possibly only give each one but so much time) -----fast forward to the dump phone call--- as a parent of a former athlete I know the pain you feel when you get the call….here is a suggestion:1) Listen to them until they are finished2) Ask if that is definitely the whole story3) If so ask them to come in and speak with the coaches about it4) If it involves your swimmers health, or academic best interests feel free to contact me. If it is about swimming, please do not contact me. It is what we are paid to do—connect with your son or daughter.5) There is no way to be objective when feeling for your son or daughter. Try to be the one that provides a sense of calmThought 5a—It is really hard to be at home when your kid is struggling here. But rest assured there are people who care here. We just do it in a way for growth to take place. There were so many times when I received dump phone calls…..funny, the next day things seemed a lot better.
Lastly. On 60 minutes, one of the segments was on the “Make a Wish Foundation”. It was powerful. It inspired me to write to each of you and reach out. It is hard to be away from your kids….and in the 60 minute segment, young boys and girls with cancer or other diseases, were granted one wish. Like, if there is one thing I can do right now it would be ____________. And one was granted a trip to Australia and another being a policeman for a day, and another riding in the care of his favorite car racer. They were saying to us all to truly live life, do so one day at a time. I watch 60 minutes every Sunday, as my way to “read the Newspaper”. This segment was powerful. Essentially it said to me that we all need to smile more, we need to value every day, and the best way to do that is by connecting our brains (at a place like JHU) with our hearts (having compassion)……..there is not a day that goes by that we do not want each of your sons or daughters to feel that there is compassion here at JHU and in this world.