Sunday, August 2, 2015

Coaches Translation

By Gabriel July 23, 2015

All our coaches use certain phrases when talking to the swimmers during the season. If you're an 8 and under, an 11-12, on the senior team or an NBA alumni, you'll have heard some of these familiar statements over the years.

What I've found is that "It's usually what isn't said, that is the real story."
- Linda Park from the FLASH

So I've put together a "coach’s translation" to decode the true meaning behind their words:

For example: when Ken says:  “Just remember, Good race move on; bad race move on…” He really means: Yeah, that really sucked dude…

When Mean Mike says: “Ok guys, if you break 40 in the 50 free I'll buy you a candy bar!”…He really means: Those 8 and unders will do anything for candy.

When Don mutters: “Alright gang, now this main set is going to take physical toughness, mental toughness and emotional toughness.”…He means: You're all about to die and I’m going to be enjoying every single minute of it.

When Nice Mike yells: “Bring on the thunder!!”…He’s really thinking:  Wow, thunder! I sounded just like Thor.  Cool.

When Don says: “During that last race you weren't in the mental state of flow.”…He’s really thinking: And… There goes another reckless flurry of splashing and flailing.

And when Greg says: “Hi Laddy!”…He’s trying to say: I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up.

When Lee Anne hollers: “Let's get ready to kick some boo-tay!!!”…She really means: They’re still motivated by butts…Unbelievable.

And when Mean Mike ends an email with something like: “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”   Mark Twain…He’s really saying: Ha! I’ve never even read Mark Twain…Mike MacDonald - National Merit Scholar 

And when Ken says to me:  “Gabe, stop messing with your hair before practice.”…He’s really thinking: Oh, if I only had hair like that!!

And FINALLY when all the coaches throw out things like:




They’re really saying: We love you guys!

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